Selah has been playing piano for about a year and a half now. There have been many tears as she struggles through a peace of music and declares she cannot do it (by the way, this phrase has been banned from our home. Kids are quite capable, and a challenge never hurt anyone). We've also seen many smiles and joyous moments as she turns a corner with her playing. Selah has a gift. She can hear a song on the radio or at school and come home and begin working it out without the sheet music in front of her. The challenge we have with her is that she would rather someone play the song for her so she can learn it by ear, instead of reading the sheet music. Thankfully she can't con me into playing the song for her anymore, because she's beyond my skill level. Just out of the blue one day she said to me, "I think God has given me the gift of music." She wants to share this gift, but the obstacle she faces is fear. Fear of making mistakes and looking foolish in front of others. I have posted pictures and a video of her last recital. My sweet girl was so overcome with nerves that she cried in her seat while the others played. Finally, her piano teacher took her by the hand and sat next to her while she played. That is why she looks quite glum. That night was difficult for so many reasons. Not only was I sad to see her that way, but also seeing me in her. I've always struggled with nervousness and anxiety. I was not a bold and confident individual growing up, never thrived by being in the spot light. I too have the fear of looking foolish, and not wanting to make mistakes. I have perfectionist tendencies. I understand these tendencies and I have grown so much, but still that anxiety rears its ugly head once in a while. But something about seeing my daughter with these same tendencies has started a fire within me. Selah has to see confidence in me, and an attitude of grace when mistakes are made. Not to put myself down. Not to put so much pressure that the joy of it all is squashed. Parenting is hard! Today was one of those days. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who walks through the door and can calm me down instantly, and bring peace back to the center of it all. And a Heavenly Father who reminds me of these treasures he has blessed me with. God has given us this responsibility of parenthood and we only have but a little bit of time to give our children a solid foundation. This is good for me to reflect here. To journal, process, and allow the clutter to clear so I can see the beauty of it all. Well my sweet boy, who was a monster today, has come down for another hug. Kids give grace so easily. As I read through this post one more time my initial intent was to share about Selah, but it progressed into a learning lesson for me. To the least of these...
